I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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