So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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