Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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