I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Randomize
