Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
