David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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