what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
