just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
