Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
