ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
