i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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