i just wanna soil my oats bro
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
