What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
