dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
