We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
