Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize
