He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Randomize
