Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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