OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
