From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
