If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
