I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
