Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
