She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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