Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
