she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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