help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
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