Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
