White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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