Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
