I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
17 year olds will be the death of me.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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