"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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