Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
