im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Girls should come with a carfax report
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
