school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I have so many feelings about this burrito
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Randomize
