Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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