Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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