Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
