I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
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