i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
