I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
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