We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
