This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Just pee around me
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
