How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Randomize
