Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
