I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
