I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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