Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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