I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
