I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
i now understand why vodka
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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