I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
