I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
