i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
sarcasm needs its own font
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
this will be a night to untag.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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